AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.

Does this surprise anyone at all?

I actually hadn't heard most of her PRISM album, mostly because I think I hate it. Thankfully, about half of the show was from the Teenage Dream album.

For the record, Teenage Dream IS Katy Perry's best song. That is non-negotiable.

I'm pretty sure I enjoyed the show not only because I had floor seats (!!!) but also because my friend (who got me the tickets) and I were surrounded by emotional pre-teens and their hip, Jersey-moms who were humiliating them by dancing and singing. SHE ONLY BOUGHT YOUR $300 TICKET YOU BRAT, LET HER SING ALONG TO 'I KISSED A GIRL.'

Point is, I could scream lyrics uninhibited and still be the least embarrassing person there.

All my photos are pretty horrendous but I need you to know that she had a floating poop emoji come out.

Menacing smiling poop encroaching on KP's dancers

Outta the way KATY I'm trying to get a picture of your poop emoji!

An exciting explosion of lights and colors, I think I had a stroke

Also, while everyone on the train to the concert venue was aggressively pounding vodka Diet Cokes, I was sober. After the raging Friday night concert, I went home and fell asleep just before midnight because my feet hurt and my ears were ringing. Man, I'm fun.